Today was a good day

Today was a good day. This could suffice as the beginning and the ending of this blog, but then you would feel cheated because you wasted about 61 seconds of your life to check a blog that wasn't. So with that being said, and because I might want you to come back in the future, I will tell you why. I was used today. And not used as in, ex-girlfriend manipulated my emotions while getting her relational needs met used, but used as in God is doing something on this planet and I was actually a part of it used. Literally from morning until night, I was used. The specifics of my usage may serve as a digression or may make for a better separate blog, so I won't tell you what exactly I did. Just know this, there is no feeling on this planet earth that can make you feel more alive than this. Yes, that includes romantic, notebook/p.s. i love you/titanic story book love. The feeling of knowing that there is a God up there, who brought himself down here, to make himself known everywhere, who has somehow chosen you despite your akwardness and in-appropiateness (new word), is absolutely indescribable (even though i just described it.) My blogs are usually NOT this openly spiritual. I usually trick you into things like this. Today however has drained me in such a good way that I don't have the energy to fool you. So I won't. Just know that I'm alive and that when I die, there can be one thing said about me that will be true and that can be placed on my tombstone (if affordable), "here lies a man that when he was not dead, was known to be alive." Thank you for this day, in Jesus name. Amen

Don't worry, nothing's going to happen here

I was at the corner bakery today with one of my kids, kids as in kids from my youth group not kids as in a child I have fathered without telling anyone until now, when I realized the importance of what that place means to me. From the time we are able to walk we are socialized that different places come inherent with different meanings. It sounds deep, and it is, make the check payable to Mark Anthony Chase. Just kidding, but seriously, everywhere we go has a different meaning, a different feeling attached to it, a different purpose. Come with me for just a moment. The bathroom is where we go when that double cheeseburger we had no business touching in the first place decides to wreak havoc on our small intestine. The post office is where we go when we have important life or death documents that absolutely needed to be somewhere else yesterday. The Church is where some of us go, when where we were last night, makes us feel just a bit guilty. The bank is where we go, to become depressed about the lack of funds in our accounts, that virtually assure us we will NOT be going to Hawaii or any place else very satisfying any time soon. I could go on, but by now you see what I'm getting at. Every place in our lives is territorially marked and peed on by the pressures of society to do do do and do. Every place we go has a different feeling attached to it, depending on what we do while we're there. But to that I say create a place, find a place, by any means neccessary, where you don't have to worry, because NOTHING is going to happen there. Maybe you picked up on it by now but if not I will come out and say it. I'm one of those wierd people that worship Jesus, and live a life dedicated to trying to somewhat resemble his (some days are uglier than others). But when I look at Jesus and the life he led, he always saved a place where he could go where he did nothing, said nothing, and where nothing was expected of him. Usually for Jesus this was a mountain or hillside, since I don't have an extra 4 hours a day to hike up the San Gabriels, the corner bakery will have to do. For me it's a place where there are no e-mails, text messages, text messages about e-mails, or bank statements that can threaten my sanity. I do nothing, say nothing, and nothing is expected of me. And you know what, it feels so disgustingly good. Find that place for yourself, it will change everything, or maybe it won't, but at the very least, it will change you.

To my readers

To the people who are reading and/or following this blog, I say thank you. That is not all I wish to say to you but, I thought it would be good to say it first because if I didn't you would be wondering "when is he going to thank me for spending 6 to 12 minutes of my day caring what he thinks?" So now that we've addressed that, what do I REALLY want to say to you? Well, tonight, through this post, it is my desire to inspire you. I shy away from trying to do this directly because the human being has developed a fascinating ability to resist direct inspiration, and then label it preaching. So tonight, in order to inspire you, I have to first trick you. I have to fool you into thinking that this post has nothing to do with you so that you read it all the way to the end, only to find out that yes, it has EVERYTHING to do with you. Life is like this sometimes. We spend so much time buried IN the story, that we don't consciously realize what part we're actually playing. Then we hit the end or a crucial moment and we think, "how the heck did I get here?" Yes, life mesmerizes us, hypnotizes us, paralyzes us, and ultimately tricks us. But it doesn't have to be that way. That's one of the reasons I write. Because somehow through the words on this page I go from living, breathing, living, breathing, living, breathing...... to, thinking, pausing, thinking, pausing, thinking, pausing, and then living and breathing much more wisely and much more deeply than I ever did before. That's what writing is for me, my way of paying attention to life as it unfolds. So by now you may have realized that you've been tricked, but hopefully at this point it doesn't matter. It is my desire to inspire you tonight to pay attention to life. Write life down as it happens, think out loud, say your dreams back to yourself, get angry at what happened in line at the grocery store and understand why you're angry, read the signs, even if you have to stop for a second. Why? Who knows.....I assume though it's kinda like peanut butter with jelly, it just tastes better that way.

Black People at McDonald's (oh yes!!)

So I'm at McDonald's, yes McDonald's. Because Sometimes you just need to not care about what you do with your body. And since I refuse to take this approach in other areas such as say sex and physical intimacy, I figured I'd use my opportunity on a quarter pounder every other week. Much safer, less emotionally painful, and faster. So like I said, I'm at McDonald's. And I'm engaged in not caring when I'm interrupted by an argument that breaks out between a young Black mother of...... (let's say three.....didn't actually get a chance to see all of the kids she had with her) and an older Hispanic or White guy who was reading a newspaper. One of the kid's with the young Mom had begun to play loudly with a toy motorcycle, much to the disliking of the older man who was just one seat away. The old man then lets out a passive aggressive grunt. In response the mother screams out...."ummm you can go to the lie berry (library) if you wanna read." Can you see where this is going? Things escalate as the two go back and forth, and a number of verbal threats and expletives rhyming with tuck, stuck, pluck, and ship are exchanged, along with a few N words ( f.y.i. N words spoken by the black mom...otherwise yall know I would have jumped in...lol). Anyway, the truly sad part of this story is that after the old man leaves due to being physically threatened, one of the kids, no older than 4, begins repeating verbatim every word that the mom just spoke. She doesn't correct the child, after all, how can she? The kid just goes on repeating in his toddler accent "Motherphwucker.....fwucking bish.....pushy ash bish" (excuse my/his/mom clearly not on her job's language). Now I'm definitely not one to try and say anything to anybody else about raising their kids, I don't have any. But as an Uncle, Pastor, and simply a human being my heart just wanted me to walk over there and say "LADY IS YOU CRAZY!!!".........but.....logic prevailed.....I guess...and I walked out, not in the least bit "embarrassed to be black". I'm too proud of the legacy of my people stemming all the way back to the pyramids in Egypt to ever feel that way, but just worried about that kid, and that mom, that family, our communities. And maybe I'm wrong, maybe her behavior that afternoon was just part of a long day for her, maybe she corrected her son when she went home, maybe every thing's fine. But what if it's not? And if it isn't, what are we/you supposed to do about it? Or am I just making too many assumptions?